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I think about when we used to lived in arecibo/lares, every single day, those too were that happiest moments of my life, everything was perfect, spending time with you was the highlight of my day. Cruising around in the car, watching Kathy Griffin stand up's in my ipod, both of us laughing our asses off, no fights, no disagreements , everything was just , simply great. It hurts that it can't go back to that.
You can't really blame me for going off by myself to do exercise, cause you I did invited you , so many times that i lost count, so if you were not interested in doing any exercise, i wasn't about to force you. About the hanging out thing, you knew with which friends i was with, you knew where i was, and you also knew what happened with our last circle of friends that i introduced you too (from work), the ones that you only told every bad things that happened in our relationship and none of the good until the very end where the saw me like the biggest jerk ever, which was not fair to me and you know it!!!!, You also knew i had a problem with insomnia, and even though i did made an effort a lot of times and forced myself to go to sleep you, for you that was worthless. I never neglected to voice what i felt for you, I told you in every single way, every time i could, looking straight into your eyes "HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU" and still do!!!!!!!!
After what you did in the bank, you knew how much that hurt me, You knew that you literally shattered my heart to pieces, and only me, myself was there to picked them up, i forgave you without you haven't to put any effort whatsoever, cause you know that a lot of things you said that you were going to do to win me back, you didn't do them, you never carried them through, not to forget pointing out that you kept talking to him, maybe not in the same way, but still sucks!!! I had to dig very deep withing me for the strength to forgive you and tried as hard as i could for things to be good, and guess what , you still complained!!!!, it wasn't enough for you, which for me , was putting me down!!!!!!!!
About the sex issue, it is Not that we're not compatible, in fact we're more compatible than you know, but truth of the matter is that when i started opening up to you, started trying new things with you, being more spontaneous, more comfortable, you shut me down, even though i was really trying in spite of what had happened before, you shut me down, which for me was unbelievable, knowing how hard it was for me to overcome my weight and my issues just to try and make you happy and satisfied, you still complained!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd always found you gorgeous , still do!!!!, and i was always interested in you, for me there's no one more beautiful than you in the world!!!! and if you don't believe me than hey, that's something you'll figure out in time, by itself!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry , i can't agree that you that weren't looking for somebody else while you were with me, for the single fact that you were getting to know someone, twice with the same guy , and now with another. I wasn't born yesterday, you don't talk to someone or try that many times if you're not looking for an alternative. I can't be a second hand boyfriend , I'm sorry I'm worth more than that!!!!, The fact that you don't want to see it this way, does not make it any less true!!!! after my ex, i truly thought that you were gonna be the one, THE ONE, The one that i would grow old with!!!, I can't say that i still believe that that's you anymore, but the funny thing is that I can't say you aren't either. At this point i just don't know, I don't think i will know anytime soon!!!!!!
"Wrong Things Done for the Right Reasons, Still Wrong Things", the fact that you tried 3 times, means that you were not gonna stop until something actually happened, and everything got to shattered to fix, if you were gonna stop at one point, it was gonna be the first time, the fact that you didn't meant that weren't serious about it and were not gonna stop. i can't knowingly do that to myself.
Even though i do admit that at times it did looked like all i wanted for you was to cook and clean for me I honestly think that you choose not to see how interested i really was, because for you it made more sense that way, avoiding to look at the whole world of crap that had happened before and that many issues that had freshly risen from that!!!!! Again you choose to see what's convenient for the situation at hand , not the whole enchilada!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though we may fight a lot, disagree a lot, we do have a lot of fun with each other, and we get each other like no one else can, i have never wanted you to change who you were, i have always wanted you exactly the way you are, the playful, sweet, gorgeous, horny and psycho little person that you are, and i wouldn't change you for anything in the world!!!!!
Clarifying the "what made you do it part" doesn't help, change or fix anything, cause for me , your reception of how things happened is somehow distorted, which is something that you're not gonna see now, but in time you will, and you'll grow from it, I can't even begin to describe how much I'm hurting right now, how much i miss you, how much i miss to cuddle, kiss, hugg and even the good morning/good night kisses.
Right now I'm just looking for a way to cope with things and distract myself , i mean you already have someone there (Angel), i don't.
I'll be alright, Hey ""If Britney could do it, so can I "" jajajaj, All i can say is that
""I LOVE YOU, ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL. TRUE LOVE NEVER FADES"""
Forever Your Gorillita
Carlos J Castillo ( Gory )
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